Just Giving

I was feeling very spiritual this morning after finally caving in and watching some television. There is a truly excellent series running currently called “The Young Pope” which I found very touching and reflected many feelings which I have come accustomed to in my new purer and natural form. In my usual obsessive way, I decided to watch the whole series and finished somewhere around 4 a.m. last night.  There was a beautiful speech by Jude Law (Playing a young charismatic pope) at the end of the final episode which related to how if we want to see God’s beauty it is entirely in the smile of others. Not in words, actions, material items but simply in seeing the natural smile of another. This really resonates with me because as someone who was always selfless I think I was addicted to that feeling and to a degree would give anything to see others happy at the expense of my own wellbeing.


Often, these acts of giving were misguided. I liked buying rounds of drinks for everyone at the bar at the expense of my own pocket just to see them all happy and laughing and I have only realised now why I used to do this. It was not for ego it was because I wanted to see them all smile more and be happy. You can imagine that my pubs became very popular and I would always be willing to look after others… until they abused my respect. If I sensed they were indeed advantage takers then I would shun them with pretty much immediate effect.


I heard a story recently about late Grandfather Amar Snr, where he used to also be very hospitable and welcoming. Two travellers passed through our village and he gave them sanctuary for the night in his home. He sat and drank with them, fed them and treated them with the kind of kindness to a stranger which only seems to exist in fairytales. As he left them they continued to drink and make noise and disturb his family. He returned to them whilst they slept took their blanket from them and smothered it with Cow dung and put it back over them while they slept. When they awoke in the morning they were deeply embarrassed by their actions assuming they indeed had caused this and swiftly departed with there heads down in shame.


The truth is that in Giving we must be cautious to what the primary benefit of the act is to the receiver. If indeed we buy them expensive gifts which makes them more attached to material things then the smile which they provide us with is not so much the smile of gratitude  but a smile which is constructed from material love, satisfaction and momentary adulation. Natural smiles are the kind of smile a child gives you when we look at them with unconditional love. I do believe animals smile also as I can see memories of my late German Shepherd smiling in happy moments we had together.


So from these experiences I have learned that a true smile is a true reflection of love and when the soul smiles this radiates God’s beauty to those around them. God can only be felt with natural positive feelings and God can indeed be seen in every day life. The problem we have is that we are so busy we miss these moments and then look for answers when we have become distant. As this is a time of year when there is a lot of giving just pause for a moment and remember the smiles as God is saying Hi!


Thank you so much for all of your support this year… I have made some wonderful connections through writing and I really do wish you all happiness. Merry Xmas xxx





4 thoughts on “Just Giving

  1. Your insights are always very thought-provoking, especially those where you reflect on your own past behaviours with the wisdom you have clearly gained in the last year. It’s all too easy to give, and give, and give, for reasons which are all about being a ‘pleaser’ and not about building balanced, real connections with others. With self-knowledge comes self-improvement, and you are obviously giant-strides distant from where you were.

    Now… we need to deal with that obsessive box-set watching before it gets out of hand!! 😉

    By the way, talking of inspiring TV, have you tried ‘This Is Us’ on C4. Only 2 episodes in, so far, but if you give it a go – and I recommend it for a dose of serious feelgood – go back to the first ep/pilot. Don’t jump in without going back to that opening story – it will reward you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love this! You are such an eloquent and heartfelt writer. This actually made so many things click for myself, I have so many examples of when I have been a ‘people pleaser’ -‘and felt disappointed by the behaviour of others in comparison. In fact, I had a funny moment this week when I exchanged a Christmas gift, and when they seemed overwhelmed or surprised by a generous material gift, it made me feel a little rejected and very emotional. The truth is, this person doesn’t show their love through possessions. I had a lightbulb moment after feeling confused and ashamed…. the problem was my expectation, and false assumption. Now, after reading this I can pinpoint exactly why this has happened to me again. I too have been a pleaser, we resonate with kindness and generosity as a fundamental family value. The balance is still being able to enjoy sharing these values, but still feeling respected. I sometimes tell myself now expectations lead to disappointment, as a way to excuse others in advance. I’m not sure i have that all right yet myself, but I know I’ll get there. 2016 has been so humbling, reading your work and learning from your journey as we all go through ours too, makes every moment more enlightening. Lots of love, Daniel San 😊


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