Half way through a 10k run yesterday and I had a small flashback to the trauma I suffered when wrongly sectioned into a mental asylum and I literally had to switch from hare to tortoise. There was a technical glitch in my normally peaceful and therapeutic running rituals. A temporary power outage whilst the negative current of these thoughts passed through my mind and into my heart causing the economic slowdown of my internal wealth.
It was a terrifying memory so vivid and dark, hearing the whaling screams of children in so much unbearable pain. As a father and for any parents this is your biggest fear and a weakness which demons prey upon. The original memory had occurred to me in the midst of sleep deprivation during my forced stay at a psychiatric ward. In a sense it is a memory of a memory because the event (children screaming) had not taken place but the trauma is permanent and real. I did some research last night into PTSD and it fits as this memory is still vivid but not relevant in the now with my current lifestyle.
This raises the question that could your thoughts alone or nightmares cause you a significant amount of trauma that you could suffer PTSD? no psychiatrist would be able to pin point the physical trauma that brought you there so in a nutshell you would be classed insane. Could your nightmares some of which you will never remember consciously be bringing you into a traumatic state (depression for no apparent reason?).
What was revealed to me was that when we look at a mad person and have no idea why they are acting like that… try to reflect that if some dark force could fill your brain with the sounds of horrendous pain that would break you down and they were constantly on high volume and repeat, how would you appear and communicate? I actually think this experience allowed me empathy for the clinically insane. I am obliged to give them a voice…
This could lead them to commit crime, suicide or substance abuse in fact anything to escape the trauma and switch it off or turn it down. You hear of many crimes committed where people have said that there were voices telling them to do it. Are these voices indeed demons, dark powers or some play of chemical imbalance? Evil does have a voice and when an inhumane crime is committed the voice whether conscious or subconsciously has overcome them and resulted in an act of anti-God.
My grandfather once told me when I was younger that in Punjab in times before medicine it was thought that a person with depression or any abnormal mental episode was possessed and with a little research you can find some pretty horrific methods of so called mental cleansing. There is definitely a connection between spirituality and mental health as those with strong inner faith tend to be able to keep their head above water. This does not necessarily mean you need to be actively practising religion only that you accept and identify what is good or bad.
I was not possessed nor was I insane because in being able to identify your thoughts and rationalise what is right and wrong then you are as normal and probably more balanced than most (Donald Trump comes to mind). My reaction was a direct consequence of the trauma I was suffering and it was faith in God and positive thinking which brought me so quickly out of this depth. Had I not realised the inner battle and began to fight back I would still be in a mental asylum under her majesty’s pleasure and after six months had passed would have electric currents passed through my head to cure me!
World Mental Health Day was a global advert for mindfulness which is great but the media is still not tackling the issue at hand which is the stigma around mentally ill people. There are many people contained because of misunderstandings and failures in the system. Hollywood plays it’s part to associate mental illness directly with villainous behaviour and I don’t believe this to be entirely true. We are all either fighting our demons or consumed by them and how we see out our lives is the truest testament to which side we sit on.
So these demons will only stand for trial in God’s court (judgement day) and they have been the bane of humanity from day one. We cannot bring them to trial in their spiritual form but we can bring the person to trial once they have been overcome by their demons. Prisons are full of mentally ill people and unless they can accept the existence of these higher powers and we help them to as fellow human beings… the future will be full of repeat offenders.
Richard Branson gave a speech yesterday on mindfulness and how Virgin Trains would play video’s on board trains of nature and meditation to promote mindfulness. My view is if they would instead focus on the transport system and trains start arriving on time they might be able to reduce anxiety also 🙂