Anxiety – a personal diagnosis
It was caused by high expectations of myself when I was comparing or being compared to others. Inevitably as there is always bigger and better it triggered emotions of disappointment, desperation and an overpowering worry about the future and that I would not fulfil the potential in my life. I was always seeking the approval of my nearest and dearest and measured my personal achievements against their judgement and reaction. If I had a time machine that could transport me back to when it started I would go back immediately and make the following changes.
- Avoided being around people that made me feel I was not good enough
- Appreciated myself more for what I did for others
- Took time out for my personal health and wellbeing
- Had a few holidays rather than pay for everyone else’s happiness
- Kept my faith in God and appreciated the things which I had
- Never should have stopped listening to the wisdom of elders
- Not been ashamed of who I was when told I was not good enough
- Laughed more in the face of adversity as it was temporary
- Should not have chased money thinking wealth would solve all my problems
- Loved someone who loved me for being Balvinder Singh Gill
Anxiety can be caused by worry of anything that is not in our control. The future is not in our hands so we should not worry about it. We need to calmly think about the things which we can control such as finances, personal health and relationships but not about our end point. Faith permits us to hand this worry back and this is how I have conquered my anxiety.
So the time machine by the way does exist. Just close your eyes and picture yourself back at that time when you first started feeling like this. Then think about what you would do differently and open your eyes. You are back with the knowledge of your mistakes and know that if you do those things now it will not happen again.
Learn that if you have to suppress who you are to fit a relationship, environment or social group then you are slowly damaging your one true self. You cannot take constant supressing of your feelings regardless of how difficult the consequences of change will be… This is mental suicide.