Tuesday 27th September… Earth year 2016
I started these ‘starship’ blogs as I was in the pursuit of knowledge and answers to problems which I had encountered in my life but writing them I realise that that the answer I was looking for was more obvious than I thought. A breakdown is the end of a chapter and the beginning of another. The coping mechanisms finally gave way because they could not continue to absorb the relentless pressure they were under. I needed to be beamed out for self reflection and a tactical reshuffle.
Bob Hoskins: ‘When I separated I had a nervous breakdown because walking away from two kids is a horrific thing. I started living in a kind of bubble, a bubble of grief, because I’d lost my family and couldn’t cope… I was having these long sessions with a psychiatrist, then going for a drink with my friend Verity Bargate. She used to say, “You’re telling the psychiatrist all your best plots. You should be doing it on stage.”‘
I refused to be labelled by small minded people wanting to departmentalise me for their own peace of mind. Classification as history tells us is an easy way to control behaviour. Whether a social class or a stereotype… classification is wrong as we are all outlier’s in some statistic or another and should celebrate our independent self. This is just too unbearable for those comfortable of societies classification of them to fathom. The definition of societies ‘normal’ causes people to be depressed as it is dictating to them what they need to conform to in order to find their happiness.
Alistair Campbell on his drinking and breakdown in the mid-80s while working on Today newspaper. ‘It was a nightmare recovering, trying to re-build my career, while trying to give up drinking. You learn what your priorities are and who your real friends are – and you can count those on one hand… I get letters from people who say, “I’ve had a nervous breakdown and it’s great that someone talks about it.”
The mind becomes tired in it’s pursuit of attaining this classification only to find when it reaches there that a newer version has been released and it needs again to upgrade to match the status quo. If society preached to us to be content with who and what we are then the markets would fluctuate much less and personal happiness would be a lot more predictable and widespread.
Spiritual interconnectivity is evident and paramount to finding your happiness and the soul mate you seek you will never find in their entirety as the physical body prevents complete and permanent union of two souls. Therefore… Love will never be entirely satisfying unless that love is of yourself thus raising your spiritual awareness. This would raise the attraction level on oneself and you would be more likely to find love in its realist possible physical form.
When working as a chef I spent many times trying to perfect a dish as exactly as I could see it in my mind and then when I created it there would be a wonderful sense of satisfaction. However, even with long descriptions, theatre, customer interaction… I still would get different views from customers on what they received. This has taught me a valuable lesson because what gives me complete satisfaction will never give another the same complete form. It can only be comparably pleasing to what they visualise it to be because it is not their creation. Their valuation of what they receive is based on their personal appreciation and a successful dish is judged by popularity.
We should commend and appreciate the work of others so in the same way we should look at each person as an individual. Their mind and their soul are encapsulated in their human entity and so regardless of appearance or action we should convey mutual respect and that will provide us with spiritual interconnectivity to another in it’s closest form possible. A psychopath see’s others as meaningless and a narcissist is reflecting themselves on to others to pass judgement. When a beautiful person falls in love with another they are simply admiring the art of another and this admiration is conveyed as heightened mutual respect which is as close to real love as that which is possible of yourself.
Peter Mullan on breaking down during his final year in university: ‘I was working 15 hours a day, every day, for two months. Then something snapped. I started crying and didn’t stop for a week. I had three or four relapses in my twenties. It was very humbling. It was the best and worst thing that ever happened to me. You realise there is a darkness within that you can’t always deal with.’
I am me… you are you.